Most of us are not intentionally mean spirited or hateful. We don’t look for opportunities to hurt others nor do we teach our children to do so. But I would have to argue that merely teaching them to NOT be hurtful IS NOT enough! We must show them what it looks like to BE loving, grace-filled and kind.
My youngest revealed this truth to me when she decided not to share her toys with her cousin. When I spoke with her she said “it’s okay, I didn’t hurt her feelings. “I told her nicely she could not play with my toys and closed the door.” (Please insert shaking my head emoji).
What I failed to do was teach her how to be grace-filled and kind. I failed to teach her to T.H.I.N.K. before she speaks. The acronym below is a great tool to teach your children (and yourself) to pause before you say something, because it really isn’t enough to just not be hurtful.
T- Truth
Is what you’re going to say TRUTH? Do you know for certain this is true?
H- Helpful
is the information HELPFUL considering the circumstances? Beyond being truthful, is it helpful information to share?
I- Inspiring
is what you have to say INSPIRING? Will my sharing this information encourage or inspire the person to be or do better?
N- Necessary
is it NECESSARY for you to say anything at all? Just because it is true does not mean it is necessary for you to say something.
K- Kind
are the words you have chosen KIND? Lastly, be sure your words are spoken with a kind spirit and are spoken with the right motive.
The concept of thinking before we speak is simple, yet it is OFTEN a difficult thing to practice. And it is just that- practice. Every day we should practice asking ourselves (before we speak) is what I’m about to say grace-filled?
Keep Living Out Loud
in HIM,
terry